Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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