Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
