Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
