I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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