apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
