sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
