So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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