on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
