Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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