he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
