dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
