Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
