remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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