3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize