A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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