you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
