I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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