Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
