@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
