just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
