My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to have your abortion
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
