I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so let's talk penis.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
