She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
