on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize