So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just gift wrapped bread.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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