my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
