What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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