R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
