I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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