the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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