but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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