True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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