Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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