i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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