better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
