on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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