Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
