Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
