Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
