Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
