Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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