i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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