help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
