I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
