butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
