This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
