Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize