i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
