I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
