We named our party play list daddy issues
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you are never too drunk for berry picking
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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