Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
