ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
