Have you finally orgasmed yet?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize