careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize