Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
