I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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