friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
