hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
