i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
