ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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