i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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