she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
