The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize