my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
