I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize