There is no way he is gay with that hair.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
