I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
