Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize