but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
